It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
