But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
