is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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