I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
