haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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