Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
