His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
