I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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