The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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