put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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