i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize