went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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