I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just pee around me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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