Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
