Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
