you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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