I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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