hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize