I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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