he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
