I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
