You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
