If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
