you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
