Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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