We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize