Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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