did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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