Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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