you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just blew my weed a kiss
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
