i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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