Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
