Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
