have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
