Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
