Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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