I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
