haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
and she was petting her beer can
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
