Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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