Quick, to the slutcave!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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