I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I touched a dick in church today
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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