I got chris browned last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
