Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
