Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
