But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Randomize