she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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