so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have post one night stand depression
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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