I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
