Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
