i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
