i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
