She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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