I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize