All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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