i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
