The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
