you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
