Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
