Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i will never coherently bang her
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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